Alone In the Rain

Yamato heard the door latch click behind him as he walked outside. The sun had already set, and now the streaks of orange in the sky were being overtaken by a consuming blue night. His legs never stopped moving. He wasn't sure where it was he was going, but he couldn't put himself to rest. He could feel his blood pressure had already skyrocketed, and dull thuds seemed to pulse from his head as he continued. He couldn't focus on anything.

His rough, bare feet carried him along a nearby road and away from the house. Thoughts of Confusion and Pain and Rage echoed through the monk's normally peaceful mind. One in particular surfaced more than the others: 'She betrayed me.' He couldn't convince himself that it was the truth… He couldn't blame her for making her own choices, or telling him about them. So, in turn, he blamed himself. His own inability and wandering thoughts are what led him to all of this. He set himself up for his own bad joke.

He had to cross between a few islands, which led him to believe that he was somewhere in Water Country. Somewhere along the way he had broken into a run. Now that he crossed over the treacherous depths of the sea at night, he did not slow down. Sand squished between his toes as he reached the final shore, kicking the sand away as he continued to run up the beach. He had been struggling with these idle thoughts that plagued his mind. He sought his teacher for help, hoping for the guidance he had received from the elders in his youth. But the real world is a cold place and his teacher gave him only chaos. Her response was like fuel to the fire - and in his moment of insecurity he allowed himself to be wounded.

Drops of rain from the constant showers of the region bombarded him. His pace finally slowed to a walk as he wandered off the beaten path. 'Change what you can, and accept what you cannot change.' The words of his elders pierced the chaos of his thoughts. How had he forgotten the core teachings they had instilled in him? He could not change how others felt, or the choices they made. And he cannot change the past. But the future was his, as was his soul.

He sat on the ground nearby a tree, taking a meditative position. He closed his eyes and his troubled heart, focusing on the change he must incorporate. He inhaled, and then exhaled slowly, relaxing his warm muscles and lowering his heartrate. He closed his eyes, completing the well-practiced preparation. The rain dripped off of the leaves, bringing a painful humility to the troubled young man. As his mind finally found its peace, he wept alone in the rain.

Hearing the rain and understanding what she had done, Etsuko would kneel before her personal shrine. Her hands resting on her knees, with her eyes coming to close. Her mind clearing very quickly, as she would allow her chakra to pulse outwards from her body. As she does this, the echo of her chakra would scatter through the world slowly. All those that she had marked would become marked in her mind, a glowing beacon, essentially, a light in the emptiness that is her mind currently. As she allows it to focus, she pushes out further and focuses her efforts.

As the time would pass, the target she was looking for would glow before her, as she gives a quiet breath. There, sitting in the emptiness was one of the largest beacons she had marked. The light would continue to glow, as she allowed her eyes to slowly open. The deep grey would look at the smoke rising from the incense stick as she let's out her calm breath. With the end of the breath, as her diaphragm reached it's maximum size, her body would glow, and explode into thousands of tiny flying chakra fireflies. The fireflies hum, and shoot out the door.

Through the rain, the fireflies would give a small dim glow to the darkness that is approaching, and fly towards the beacon. By the tree, the one she had been looking for would come into view. The fireflies would begin to come together once more, as Etsuko would reform her body. Her right foot flat on the ground, with her left knee sat beside it. Her head would be bowed slightly, with her eyes locked onto the meditating Yamato. As her body completely reforms, the breath would be released, as she let's herself sit for a moment.

"Yamato... Forgive me?"

Yamato wasn't terribly surprised as the chakra fireflies began to assemble. The rain still poured around him, and his clothing was now plastered to his skin from the water. His eyes remained closed as she spoke, and he did not respond for a long moment. Meditatively, Yamato was in a chrysalis of change – he had set his destination and was in process of righting his wrongs.

But Etsuko's appearance interrupted that. As much as he desired to push through, he could not ignore the words of his teacher. He spoke, and his voice was rasp but carried a steadiness with it.

"There is nothing to forgive you of… You only did what you thought was best. It should be me asking you for forgiveness, for failing you as a student. I promise it will not happen again."

His eyes open as he finishes his sentence, and he looks at her with a sincere expression that said much more. His shoulders dropped a little from his upright position, and his eyes fell as he let out a breath. It seems his mind was not as made up as he wanted to project, which is what he feared her learning. He had hoped to leave, make the necessary changes, and return the student and friend they both deserved. If he returned now, he felt he would only fail them both again.

Her eyes would calmly close, as the rain would continue to fall. For once, due to recent events, Etsuko's chakra was not able to force the rain to bounce off of her barrier, and instead it was covering her clothes and hair. It would slowly begin to wet her, as her hair falls in strange ways thanks to it becoming soaked. Not moving from her kneeling position, her eyes would slowly open once more and look into Yamato's. The grey, although usually showing no emotion, had a somewhat weird tinge to them, as she would slowly open her mouth.

"What I did was wrong, Yamato, and the promises I made to myself have been broken. I did not mean for any of this to happen and it was not my intention. Had I have known before hand, I would have pushed my own feelings to the side and let it be, but I did not. There is nothing for me to forgive you for, as you have done nothing wrong, and as a student, you have done everything you said you would do. I will continue to train you, if you are comfortable and willing to..."

His eyes continue to look at the ground. He takes his left hand in his right and massages the palm gently as he thinks. His heart and mind are still in a whirl, but every now and then he catches a glimpse of hope...

"I am willing... to continue training under you. But I think I need some time to reflect on all of this." He looks up to her, his grey eyes meeting hers. "When I return, I will tell Saia-san what happened, if you are not opposed. And for what it's worth, I forgive you Etsuko-sensei. For everything. Please do not hurt Saia-san in some act of penance or justification... You were only following your heart." He shakes his head with a sigh. "I could not train under you and think that I caused you guilt or pain."

He stands with exaggerated slowness, his cold muscles creaking inside. The young man stands in the rain, despite the chaos still within him, he seems to have found his resolve.

She would let out a gentle sigh, as her eyes drift to look up at the falling rain. It would be hitting her smooth skin, and slowly sliding down around the flawless features. As she watches the rain fall, she would sit for a moment, and let her mind trail of in thoughts. Deciphering this situation is something she has not done in some time, as she does not usually feel these ways. After a moment, she would open her mouth ever so slightly, and speak once more.

"I do not wish to hurt her or you, Yamato. I am foolish, but I have let myself become attached to a few people, and that is leverage that can be used against me. I let my heart take control of my thoughts, and now I believe I am to far to pull back. I'm happy, which is something I have not been in a long time..."

She brings her gaze back down again to lock eyes with Yamato once more. The look that she is given would be one of sincerity, and even though the pale eyes would mostly hide emotion, a minor amount of pain would be visible. It was strange for her to show any form of emotion beyond her everyday self and with the recent events, her whole perspective had changed. She let's out another breath as she would continue on her speech.

"You are a student, but you are also a friend, and one that I consider to be close. You are one of a few people in my life that I would give my own well-being for, and that is not how I used to be. I will say it once more, I do not want to hurt her, I do not want to hurt you, but I feel I have done the later, and for that I am sorry. You have also caused me no pain and guilt, as that is my own doing. I will train you when you are ready to return, and you will always have a place to stay if you do return..."

"Your words honor me." He says, his face returning slightly to its neutral placidity. He reaches a hand out to help her up. "I will return, this much I know. One thing that I still believe even after your words... Everything in this world lives in harmony. There cannot be joy without pain." His face still looks worn out, and his voice is still raspy from earlier. But beneath the lines creasing his face from stress and emotional exhaustion, Yamato looks a little bit older.

She reaches forward to grab his hand. Her soft arm would rest in his hand, as her hand would grip around his forearm. With his aid, she would pull herself to her feet. Releasing her grip, she would reach down and dust herself off to remove the small portions of mud that would be stuck to her knee. Her eyes come to lock with Yamato's once more, as even through her flawless features, the reality that she has suffered over the last weeks would also be having a toll on her.

"Wise words, Yamato... But I stand by what I said, and you are welcome anytime. You are one of the closest things I have to family, and I do not want to see you lost.... Would you care for some company, or would you rather be alone?"

His hand releases hers as she rises to her feet. Yamato looks up to the sky for a moment, considering her words. They seemed to put him a little more at ease, or perhaps he was simply enjoying the feeling of the rain. He turns his stony eyes back to her, and tilts his head just slightly as he replies.

"I believe that I must depart. While I long for your company, dear friend, I believe I have reached a point where I am ready to continue my journey. I will not be gone for long..." He pauses for a moment before adding, "And Etsuko-chan... Not all who wander are lost. I will return to you." He nods, seemingly content with his own words.